The FIFA World Cup 2014 begins today in Brazil and you may just have noticed a difference in the men in your life over the last few weeks, well it’s all been leading up to this: four weeks of them watching football on TV constantly, pouring over graphs and statistics and saying things like: “Unless we can get the ball on the floor and press higher up the field we’re finished, finished I tell you!”
After a decade or so of dealing with this phenomenon, we’ve come to realise that there are three ways that any self-respecting, non-football-loving woman can handle the situation and we offer them now to you, in the spirit of sisterhood. Together, we can get through this. Here’s how:
1. Join them
It’s actually quite easy to get swept along and enjoy the World Cup. Before you know it you’ve got an official Wall Chart hanging in your walk-in closet and you know more about Uruguay’s defensive frailties than the chaps on TV. To get you started and prove your worth, here’s a phrase you can use in tonight’s opening game that will both shock and horrify you male friemds in equal measure:
During Brazil v Croatia (June 12), say: “It may not be a vintage Brazil side, but their front three will scare the life out of anyone”
2. Ignore them
If you’d rather not get involved at all, simply use the time to see more of the girls. Cavalli Club is hosting an anti-FIFA World Cup night on Tuesday June 17, where all women will be spoiled with chocolates flowers and Italian delicacies. There’s also a special all-inclusive Dhs200 food and drink menu too.
3. Admire them
There are, of course, ways for you to watch the football and get a little more out of it than improving your tactical awareness of the game. Ladies, allow us to introduce Barcelona and Spain star, and husband to Shakira, Mr Gerard Piqué (main picture). Well, hello good looking.
FIFA WORLD CUP FACTS:
There are eight groups, broken down as follows:
Here’s a round up of the games, so you know when you’re footy-obsessed pals won’t be available:
June 12
Brazil V Croatia 12am
June 13
Mexico V Cameroon 8pm
Spain V Netherlands 11pm
Chile V Australia 2am
June 14
Colombia V Greece 8pm
Uruguay V Costa Rica 11pm
England V Italy 2am
Ivory Coast V Japan 5am
June 15
Switzerland V Ecuador 8pm
France V Honduras 11pm
Argentina V Bosnia and Herzegovina 2am
June 16
Germany V Portugal 8pm
Iran V Nigeria 11pm
Ghana V USA 2am
June 17
Belgium V Algeria 8pm
Brazil V Mexico 11pm
Russia V South Korea 2am
June 18
Australia V Netherlands 8pm
Spain V Chile 11pm
Cameroon V Croatia 2am
June 19
Colombia V Ivory Coast 8pm
Uruguay V England 11pm
Japan V Greece 2am
June 20
Italy V Costa Rica 8pm
Switzerland V France 11pm
Honduras V Ecuador 2am
June 21
Argentina V Iran 8pm
Germany V Ghana 11pm
Nigeria V Bosnia and Herzegovina 2am
June 22
Belgium V Russia 8pm
South Korea V Algeria 11pm
USA V Portugal 2am
June 23
Netherlands V Chile 8pm
Australia V Spain 8pm
Cameroon V Brazil 12am
Croatia V Mexico 12am
June 24
Italy V Uruguay 8pm
Costa Rica V England 8pm
Japan V Colombia 12am
Greece V Ivory Cost 12am
June 25
Nigeria V Argentina 8pm
Bosnia and Herzegovina V Iran 8pm
Honduras V Switzerland 12am
Ecuador V France 12am
June 26
Portugal V Ghana 8pm
USA V Germany 8pm
South Korea V Belgium 12am
Algeria V Russia 12am
Main image: Twitter
