International Joke Day (yes there is such a thing), shares its birthday with other important days such as Creative Ice Cream Flavours Day and I Forgot Day – three dates we’re sure you have marked in your diary…

Whether you find the constant stream on ridiculous holidays irritating or not, one thing’s for sure, we could all use a little more laughter in our lives. In the spirit of having a good old LOL, here are EW’s top ten jokes…


When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s cute. I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a date.


Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.


I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”


I’m sure wherever my dad is he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.


How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.


A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.


What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?



There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.


What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyoncé.


“Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.”